so.....

I've not posted in a while. Things have been relatively calm here. It is getting down to the last days of high school for Bryn. Graduation has been set for June 11th. I am actually in a form of denial about it all. Why do our kids have to grow up? And why do they have to go through so much crap in the process of growing up? My prayer for him is that he will find his way, but that his way will not take him too awfully far from me.

On another front, I am starting (and it's early for this) to feel melancholy about Michael starting kindergarten. Brian and I were talking last night about him riding the bus or me driving him to school, and I got teary eyed about that. I know all of my kids are special, but I feel that he is really "special"....I can't really describe it though. And I'm not saying that I love one more than the other, because I don't think I do. I guess each one of them are special to me for different reasons, and I don't want to let that "specialness" go.

Daniel is still wearing diapers. I am thinking of trying again over spring break on the potty training thing. As much as I hate changing diapers, there is probably a part of me that thinks I still have my "baby" if he is in diapers.

Perhaps I need some sort of counseling or coaching on "letting go".

And on a completely different note, one of my cousins has suffered a terrible loss. She lost the baby girl that she was carrying during her second trimester. I don't even know what I am feeling about that....I just know that I am sad and sad for her.